Change is Inevitable

April 15, 1998  Wednesday

When I returned home from History, D was watching TV.  We went upstairs then to the 18th floor cafeteria and got some food, then came back down to watch a late Sports Center.  Right now it is really good to have a big guy like D to walk to class with.  On the way to English I always pass by Katy Looker, although she does little more than give me the Evil Eye, I still feel better having him around.

Around two I called Sara to play catch.  I meant with a baseball, she brought a softball.  Just between you and me, she has quite an arm.  My keys fell out of my pocket along the way while running one down, but luckily Sara found them.  Finally tired, we sat down in the grass.  When we began talking, she let out that she wants to go to school out-of-state next fall.  Shocked, I asked why, but she didn’t seem to want to talk about it, and furthermore seem surprised that I would ask her a question about the thing she just raised herself.  It took me by surprised because she had almost wanted to be an RA, and just days ago was making flyers because she wanted to be Vice-President of Thompson’s hall government.  She had had Western plans.

I was even more surprised by the next news I received, that was non-Sara related.  Today was the day that RA hopefuls for next year found out it they had been accepted.  D, of all people in the world a natural leader, has been rejected.  He’s shocked, and am I.  He’s perfect RA material.

I just got back from playing catch outside with some guys from the floor.  As the bat connected with ball and soared into the afternoon sky, myself going after it, I thought in an instant about my life.  Sidney and my feelings regarding her not writing to me seemed to be in the correct perspective.  Being in the warm spring air made it all seem very far away. What was before me–the things I know here–seemed close.

I will miss this when I go home for the short break until the summer session begins.  Yet, I have my own worries, like the fact I have not been called yet about a summer job in the university library.  I had felt I had the job wrapped up, but now with what has happened to D, I’m not so sure anymore.  People are beginning to talk about where they’ll be next year, and so signals that the semester is almost over.  I suppose change is a part of life, but that doesn’t make it easier.  It is hard to believe I have lived here for almost a year.  I might just have to attain a master’s to stay a bit longer–and of course learn more.  Yet back to the subject at hand.  I hope Sara reconsiders moving to another state and that everything works out for D.  I hope everyone comes to visit Collinsville, Tom and I in Lincoln Hall in the fall.  I will be sad when this year ends/.